Holiday Diet Culture

What comes to mind as you anticipate Holiday gatherings? Light, warmth, laughter, gifts, gratitude, and good food are some of the things that show up for me. Maybe this is true for you too. Yet, if we’re being honest, for most of us it’s more complicated; perhaps something more like this: light ,laughter ,and a snow storm of self loathing; gifts, gratitude, and a generous portion of guilt; home, hope, and feeling hijacked by diet/wellness culture.

It wouldn’t be a Thanksgiving or Christmas gathering without someone in the room commenting on the amount of sugar in pie or butter in the stuffing. Let’s not forget the declarations of how “bad” they have been today and how much “better” they vow to be tomorrow. Then there’s my least favorite: the verbal observations about how so and so’s body has changed since last year. 

Sigh.

And just like that we can find ourselves losing touch with the Holiday joy, peace, and presence we seek. Suddenly we’re in a ‘holly jolly’ spiral of anxiety, obsession, and shame. The gifts are opened, the dishes are done ,and we spend the rest of our precious time and energy resolving to change our eating, our bodies, ourselves— as if this is the only way back to the joy and fulfillment we initially sought. The beauty and the magic of the season feel elusive as we are swept up into a culture which usurps our intuitive wisdom and valued intentions.

What would your Holidays be like if you refused to buy all the lines diet and wellness culture sells? What if you could eat all the things, say “yum,” and simply move on with your life? How would you feel, behave, eat, dress, move and rest differently? What would fill that space in your mind, heart, and spirit?

Resisting Holiday diet/wellness culture, fat phobia, and body shaming is not for the faint hearted. It takes tenacity, courage, and, perhaps most importantly, compassion for self and others. We cannot prevent the diet talk around the table entirely, but we can choose to change the subject or respond in a way which reflects our values:

“Wow, this pie is delicious!”

“Aren’t we so fortunate to have all this good food to eat?”

“ Please pass the rolls.”

We cannot stop so and so from commenting on our current size, but we can choose to educate, advocate, or redirect:

“I’m actually practicing respect my body regardless of it’s size or shape.

“I really struggle with body image and eating issues and I’m working on practicing self acceptance/body acceptance/Health at Every Size.

“It’s good to see you. Tell me how your year has been.”

We cannot even control our own restrictive, disordered, or self critical thoughts, but we can choose to challenge and diffuse from them:

“ What I eat does not make me good or bad. I am not a moral failure because I ate a lot of cake.”

“Who says I can only have x pieces, helpings, etc.? I give myself unconditional permission to eat and enjoy the season.”

“I don’t have to compensate in any way for eating x. I can trust my body’s intuitive wisdom and show up for myself day after day.”

“ What Holiday memories do I want to hold or help my loved ones make?”

Finally, we cannot erase diet/wellness culture through one interaction at a Holiday gathering. However, we can facilitate healing by bringing a compassionate hand to our heart, validating how hard it all is. From this space, we can compassionately engage, genuinely educate, and gently challenging those who are simply unaware or who are personally caught up in disordered eating.

Most importantly, we can remind ourselves of what REALLY matters to us in this season. I feel confident that joy wins over jean size, hope over health status, and love over losses or gains.