Survive Big Emotions by Dropping Anchor
Listen to a 2 min Dropping Anchor Exercise
Ride Out Any Emotional Storm
Everyone faces unexpected spikes of intense, distressful emotions. Maybe it’s worry, dread, fear, shame, regret, grief, or countless other emotional possibilities. When that emotional “storm” hits, what do we do? Trying to outrun it often just makes things worse; we get stuck fighting the feeling eventually finding ourselves overwhelmed at worst and distracted at best. That’s where the simple yet powerful skill of Dropping Anchor, a core grounding exercise from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), comes in.
This is a skill I teach to almost all of my clients and consistently get feedback on how helpful it is. It’s great because it’s easy to do, only takes a moment, and delivers some immediate results. It won’t solve all your problems, but not much will. It will, however, help you feel more steady and confident; prepared to use your other skills to tackle a challenge you’re facing.
To give credit where it’s due, I should note that I’ve learned this exercise from Dr. Russ Harris, a leading expert and proponent of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
The Dropping Anchor Metaphor
To understand this skill, imagine you’re on a ship out at sea when a sudden, unexpected storm rolls in. You quickly realize you can’t outrun it, you can’t swim away, and you can’t reliably escape it. The storm, that unfortunate, distressful moment, is happening despite your wishes.
The frantic energy of trying to avoid or outrun the storm is exhausting and fruitless. There is no land or harbor close by. The storm is too large to get around. You can’t control the storm or the escape. However, that does not mean you are out of control either.
Instead, a wise crew makes a clear decision: Drop Anchor.
The act of anchoring down does nothing to the storm itself, it continues to rage on undeterred. However, the anchor roots the ship firmly in place, creating sturdiness and steadiness for everyone on board.
Practicing the Skill
This is precisely what Dropping Anchor does for your mind and emotions. There will be times when emotional storms happen, and we have little control over the initial surge. They hit hard and sudden at times. Instead of wrestling with the intensity, dropping anchor helps us let go of the frantic energy to avoid it or suppress the storm of emotion. Just long enough to help us make a firm, steady decision.
The Dropping Anchor exercise is a simple mindfulness practice that guides you to:
Acknowledge the storm: Accept that the intense emotion is present (the storm is here).
Root yourself: Use a grounding technique (like focusing on your breath, feet, or hands) to firmly root yourself in the present moment (dropping the anchor).
Create Steadiness: The goal is to survive the initial spike and create enough steadiness so you can stay in your “wise mind” and choose your actions deliberately, rather than being swept away by the emotion.
You can walk through Dropping Anchor in a few seconds or minutes or you can cycle through the steps for as long as you need. It is a simple tool designed to help you stop struggling against the emotional tide and instead choose to firmly anchor down.