How To Live With Anxiety

Welcome to my new blog and the initial post!

I began practicing counseling in order to help people understand themselves, connect to themselves in new ways, and to create meaningful changes for themselves. I hope this blog can become an extension of that goal by providing insights into my thoughts as a counselor as well as practical tips for managing your mental health.

Beginning in private practice for me has meant taking a risk by leaving a steady income and traditional employment in order to reach my personal goals as a counselor. Of course, making these kinds of changes can create experiences of anxiety so what better way to start off this blog than by speaking about anxiety?

What Is Anxiety and What is Normal?

We all have a nearly constant stream of thoughts or dialogue rolling through our minds at any given time. For the most part, these thoughts come and go unnoticed or only briefly noticed. When we are anxious, however, some thoughts become stuck in our minds. Particularly the “what ifs”, or the ruminations of social events, or the assumptions about how others perceive us. When our brains bring up one of our anxious weak spots, it has no trouble running off with the thought and creating huge amounts of anxiety. Thanks a lot, brain…

Becoming Thankful for Anxiety?

The frustrating tendency of the mind we call anxiety is not always problem. In some ways anxiety is good for us. If were to walk along the edge of a cliff, I would hope that you feel some anxiety. Anxiety serves to warn us of danger, increase our focus, and prepare us for action. It is important for keeping us safe. I always encourage my clients to have a little compassion for themselves and their anxiety. You’re body is trying to look out for you by catching warning signs early. Maybe it’s just a little too good its job at times.

So What is the Problem with Anxiety?

One problem is that we don’t like the feeling of anxiety, another is that sometimes are bodies warn us of danger when danger isn’t actually present, and finally, we develop strict rules for avoiding anxious feelings. Maybe we avoid calling a restaurant to place an order by going online. Or maybe we avoid going out to a party by creating a logical excuse. Perhaps we stay quite instead of sharing a thought or concern within a group. Maybe we find ourselves checking the doors at home multiple times before going to bed. There are countless ways we learn to decrease our own anxiety. Overtime, these behaviors become rules for our lives that we must follow them in order to avoid the potential of becoming anxious. Ironically, it’s at this point that anxiety begins to drive our lives instead of our own wishes and desires.

Can Counseling Help?

If you’re experiencing anxiety, you’re in luck. It is one of the more responsive concerns to therapy. I think a part of this is due to how it is often treated. The most successful therapy for anxiety involves actively challenging anxious thoughts and experiences. Typically with my clients we will develop a hierarchy of anxiety provoking events and slowly begin working through these moments building confidence and coping skills as they grow. The natural benefit of this is that you can watch yourself growing and overcoming obstacles you had once assumed you couldn’t do.

Getting rid of your anxiety should not be your goal. We need some anxiety to function well and frankly, we can’t really control what emotions our body produces all the time. That’s a losing battle. Instead, your goal is to become more tolerant of your anxiety. I always tell my clients, “I want you to feel your anxiety, but do your life anyway”. Once you learn that you can feel anxiety without running from it or avoiding it, it becomes so much less powerful. Then, you are back to choosing your life, your relationships, your interests.

I’m Not Ready to Start Counseling, What Else Can I do?

There are a number of practical steps you can take to help manage your own anxiety. I’ll list a few:

Breathing – when you’re anxious your breathing increases preparing your body for a quick response to threat. Slowing your breathing forces the rest of your body to slow down signaling that the threat is passed.
Eat well and sleep well – if you want to feel well, treat yourself well.
Set aside time to be quiet during the day – anxiety often comes from having too busy of a brain. Give your brain time to digest the day and rest.
Keep a healthy perspective – Do you really need to be perfect at everything? Are there things you can say no to? Healthy boundaries are important parts of relationships.
Talk with someone you trust – sometimes having a friend or family member’s opinion helps us see things differently and feel reassured.

When you’re ready to reach out for counseling, I look forward to hearing from you. You can email me through my contact form or call me at 423.491.5822.

Contact Me