We’re taught to not self-disclose as therapists, but I’ve got to make a confession. I was thirty years old before I ever cracked a page of the Harry Potter books. I knew there were a few sort-of-popular movies from the series, but I hadn’t bothered to watch them either.
Flash forward a few months later and I’m now an unashamed grown man fashioning custom wands on a wood lathe and casting spells on unsuspecting family members and pets (never the unforgivable ones…just in case). I’m not surprised by how far I fell into the Harry Potter fandom world; that was inevitable. I am taken aback at how influential the series has been to my counseling practice.
The use of metaphor is important to me in sessions. They offer approachable ways to understand our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. I’d like to share some of the metaphors I picked up while reading through the Harry Potter series.
YOUR ANXIOUS THOUGHTS ARE BOGGARTS
This was when I first really began to understand that Rowling was writing the most elaborate and veiled self-help book available. I cannot imagine a better representation of what anxious thoughts are to our reality (a close second is in Monsters’ Inc but that’s another blog).
Boggarts are magical creatures which transform into our worst fear. They are not a reality, they are merely representations of our fears. Our anxious thoughts are just that. If you’ve been down the anxious cycle of thoughts before, you understand they are often not based in rational thought processes or likely chances. Even still, they feel real, and thus we try to combat them by thinking more logically about them. We at once understand they are not logical but also try to use logic to solve them. If you’ve ever argued politics, you understand that you cannot win a battle with someone who is willing to be illogical. The same applies to your anxiety.
Instead, to repel a Boggart, one must first be able to recognize the fear as a Boggart and avoid the impulse to fight it on its terms. Hogwarts students are taught the diffusion practice of humor and try conjure an imagine that helps them to laugh at the Boggart and thus repel it away with a charm.
Finding ways to recognize anxiety as irrational and begin to laugh at it can be helpful but the more important theme is that there is value in being willing to notice our anxiety without immediately fighting it. Doing so allows us to see it for what it is and then to treat it for what it is. When we react with reassurance seeking or avoidance, we are treating it as if it represents reality. Don’t trust your Boggarts!
The Demontors’ Kiss of Depression
Dementors are another clear opportunity for metaphor in the wizarding world. I’m certainly not the first to make the comparison between Dementors and depression, but I was surprised at how clear this metaphor seems to be presented by Rowling. She writes:
“If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself… soulless and evil. You’ll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.” They “freeze your insides” and most importantly: “they don’t need walls” to keep their prisoners, their prisoners become “trapped inside their own heads”.
Whoa. Alright, so she’s clearly speaking about depression here, right?
This is exactly what I hear when clients describe experiences with depression. Not so much a sadness but rather a general emptiness, hopelessness, purposeless, sort of existence. Dementors and depression both create a personal prison by pulling us away from our connection to life; severing our sense of agency, purpose, and belonging. They confine without physical restraints opting instead for a much more powerful tether; our own minds.
The counter charm to a Dementor is a Patronus. The Patronus representing some characteristic of the casting wizard which protects from the effects of dementors. The idea is that in the face of depression, we must be able to call upon what makes us our best version of us. In an episode of depression, we cannot trust our mind. Where it usually makes accurate decisions about our world and how to live in it, it does not during a depressed episode. It is important that we are able to identify what keeps us connected to the world and be able to seeking these out with intention.
Depression is truly a stubborn and powerful illness. Some days depression will win, but I encourage you to make it work hard for those wins. Like a parasite, depression thrives in the environment it creates; see what it can do when you are creating the environment. Maybe it will still win but you deserve to give yourself the chance to be surprised.
These segues perfectly into the most important lesson from the Harry Potter series.
The Magical Power of Choice
“Everything can be taken from man but one thing. The last of human freedoms. To choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”
Victor E. Frankl
The most important lesson to be taken from Harry Potter is the ability to make choices in the face of our emotions. Over and over again, the ability to maintain a sense of agency in the face of fear, doubt, or grief is shown by Harry and other characters.
You see this clearly in the first book as Harry naively says Voldemort’s name out loud. Other characters are influenced by the fear of the name. This fear informs their actions. In response to this, Dumbledore gives the great line, “fear of the name increase fear of the thing itself”.
The more we say shouldn’t feel something or the more we do not want to feel something, the more we increase the intensity and frequency of that thing. We do this with anxiety, sadness, embarrassment, depression, and so on. Learn to name these emotions. Learn to look at them and speak directly to them. “I see you, I feel you, I hear what you want me to do, however, I will continue to live my life”.
Emotional regulation isn’t so much about not experiencing emotion as it is about maintaining flexible behavior in the midst of emotion. When we live in the service of avoiding our negative emotions, we are living a watered-down version of ourselves. We are only permitted to live so far as we avoid anxiety, guilt, shame, sadness, etc. The more we allow ourselves to acknowledge emotions but then choose behaviors in line with our values, the less authority we give to the emotions.
With enough practice, the emotions themselves become much less intimidating. They can occur without halting our world immediately. We can feel an emotion but continue to choose our life.
Harry was able to defeat Voldemort because he was able to make a choice Voldemort could not.. He was able to choose death. He chose to step into fear, doubt, uncertainty, and pain because doing so reflected his principles.
In the end:
“It is our choices that show that we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
– Albus Dumbledore
About Ben
Ben Taylor is a counselor in Johnson City and Kingsport, TN. He provides counseling for adolescents, adults, and couples. He specializes in treating Anxiety related concerns including OCD, Panic, Social Anxiety, and PTSD. He also works closely with couples seeking to increase effective communication, navigate infidelity, and rekindle past romances.
Ben sets himself apart of other counselors by making therapy a more personal experience. He works well with clients new to therapy and challenges the notion of what it means to be in therapy. Ben strives to make therapy a more normal experience by developing a sincere interest in his clients, balancing humor and honesty, and offering a non-judgmental space for creating your ideal self. He takes pride in creating a counseling experience that is genuine enough for laughter and tears but honest enough to talk about what needs to be changed.
When you’re ready to experience counseling that moves you towards your ideal self or relationship, email Ben by clicking below.